It's been just over 370 days since my last journal update (to my great surprise) so for various reasons that I'll go in to shortly, I think I'll write a little ditty about how things are going.

In the last year I have, in no particular order...

: taken the decision to become an actor
: auditioned at three drama schools
: been accepted by two
: attended one
: moved to just outside London
: realised how ridiculously expensive it is living around here!
: Broken a girl's heart.
: Kissed and Slept with two others
: Asked for a third's number and got "why don't you give me yours" as a reply, owch, I was excessively drunk and egged on to be fair.
: Most recently, Kissed a fourth, an American (there's a first!) and sadly got no further.
: Learnt a lot doing so, most of which I'll immediately forget the moment I meet another girl with something I like behind her eyes...or that's what I call it when I'm sober.
: Broken my boat.
: Mended it.
: Broken it twice more.
: Enjoyed a lot of sailing.
: Found a new favourite playwright, Sam Shepard, another American.
: Enjoyed a lot of acting.
: Learnt about my (non-physical) twin.
: Realised the value, in life and art, of often NOT telling it how it is.
: Gone walking alone in the nearest forest, on a stormy day (I recommend this).
: Got a double bed for my 6ft 7" (200cm) high frame, about time too...
: Sobbed my heart out for twenty minutes in the toilets of the Dance Studio.
: Apparentley caught swine flu. (currently suffering), YAWN)

I think that's the highlights!

Quite a year, and while it promises to be a quiet conclusion, I'm happy with that. A soothing holiday to reorganise my thoughts and re-energise my body...and probably get over 200lbs.

A few days ago, I got talking to a man, here to put locks in our bedroom doors. His daughter is an actress, so he naturally enquired about how my course was going. I told him quite well, and that you learn an awful lot and not just about acting. He interrupted with great confidence: "about yourself too. The actor and the person, they've got to meet somewhere."

That's what I haven't found, yet.


I have a question for anyone who by chance reads this and cares to answer:

How do we know the difference between the things we really believe and the things we tell ourselves we believe to get through? Discuss.

P.S. I'll be posting something shortly once I'm done fiddly, it's about a kind of waking dream I had, probably as a result of whatever it is I've got. it was quite a ride and resulted in almost no sleep, watch this space.